I found a Verge article that I found pretty interesting, and I think it brings up some good discussion points. It follows the online relationship of two people, IamDRock and Rainbowdasher, on a now-dead site called the Experience Project (or EP for short). While much of the article follows the course of their relationship, it also brings up questions about relationships, both on- and off-line, as well as how the internet affects the universal human desire for connection.
But first, some background. The way EP worked was that users could post a story, thought, or even just a feeling, and other users could “join” that experience, enabling people to connect in ways beyond simply both going to the same high school or both rooting for the same basketball team. Unfortunately, this inventive format proved to be unwieldy and hard to decipher, and EP shut down early last year. The site still exists (you can visit it here) but only as an archive, a collection of past memories and moments. For people who never used it, it’s like “uncovering a yearbook in someone else’s attic” as the author of the article puts it. The ups and downs of IamDRock’s and Rainbowdasher’s relationship is in plain view for all to see, in its entirety. You can read Rainbowdasher’s post about their first kiss, or see IamDRock defend the fact that Rainbowdasher even exists at all. As the article says, EP “allowed their narrative to be told in real time, with an interactive Greek chorus following along. The downside of that immediacy meant the death of the forums also signaled the death of the story.” When EP was live, users could follow along, joining in with their criticism and comments. When EP died, they were cut off.
While the author attempted to follow how the relationship fared once EP shut down, I was more interested in this idea of love or relationships becoming…outdated. Think of how many social networks are out there, from Facebook to the multitude of start-ups in Silicon Valley right now. While each one is unique, bringing something slightly different to the table, the basic service is the same: to connect people with each other. While we focus mainly on how the digital age has affected death as a cultural force, it’s easy to forget the internet has affected relationships just as much, if not more. It has never been so easy to find like-minded people, to make some sort of connection, even without ever actually meeting them. And yet, at the same time…it’s never been harder. The sheer amount of social websites and apps means that we create different versions of ourselves in each one. It has become so difficult to parse through all the filters and fronts to reach the real people behind them.
With all that going on, maybe that’s why i found IamDRock and Rainbowdasher’s tale so moving. Here are two people who, despite all odds, seemed to have made a genuine connection. But then, through no fault of their own, it was severed. If Facebook went under tomorrow, what would happen to all those relationships? Would you put in the effort to move to another website, to try and remake all those connections? At what point does a digital connection become a meaningful connection? I don’t really have an answer to any of this, I just believe it’s worth thinking about.